haikureality stvarnost

Posted: May 2, 2014 in Dalvir Gill

haikureality stvarnost

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http://haikureality.theartofhaiku.com/haikuodab9.htm

 

English-Language Editor and Selector: Robert D. Wilson

 

ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE BEST HAIKU OF THE ISSUE

 

The selector—Robert D. Wilson—has made his choices of the best haiku of the issue (36 authors from 10 countries submitted 192 poems).

Iran (11), USA (6), Croatia (5), India (5), Serbia (4), Tunisia (1), Israel (1), France (1), Canada (1), Australia (1).

 

 

PROGLAŠENJE HAIKUA BROJA

 

Selektor—Robert D. Wilson—je izabrao najbolje haikue broja (36 autora iz 10 zemalja je poslalo 192 pesme).

Iran (11), SAD (6), Hrvatska (5), Indija (5), Srbija (4), Tunis (1), Izrael (1), Francuska (1), Kanada (1), Australija (1).

 

 

BEST OF ISSUE (First Choice)
Najbolji haiku broja (prvoplasirani)

 

Dalvir Gill, India (Indija)

metal eyes . . .
dawn painting the wings
of an egret

metalne oči…
zora oslikava krila
bele čaplje

tr. SV

 

 

 

 

Dalvir Gill’s poem is a hokku. It is activity-biased (koto, objective). Centric to the poem is not an object, nor the description of said object. “metal eyes”: What are the metal eyes? Are they a metaphor for a military weapon? Are they eyes reflecting the sun? Are they an insect’s eyes? Gill’s first line sets the stage for an effective juxtaposition, exuding mystery (yugen), stimulating the reader’s imagination and culturally influenced tabula.

dawn painting the wings
of an egret

Juxtaposing line one with lines two and three, elevates the poem into a tidal arena, a canvas where nothing is as it seems, nothing is static, the canvas never dry. The poet composes the poem. It is the reader’s job to interpret the poem subjectively.

My interpretation of this hokku will be different than yours. Like you, cultural memories, levels of experience, education, and exposure to geographic biospheres, vary.

If I can interpret Gill’s hokku exactly as he interprets it, the poem is a failure. Gill’s use of pre-Meiji era Japanese aesthetics (yugen, ma, makoto, etc.) evokes a surplus of interpretation. That is why Basho’s hokku are memorable and revered today as genuine literature, unlike haiku which goes into one side of the head and out the other side. How many haiku do you remember?

Become the egret without Western German university-based preconceptions. View dawn through his eyes. Watch zôka (nature’s creative force) paint the egret’s wings. A metaphor? An actual event? Metaphor and real?

How do the metal eyes relate to dawn painting an egret’s wings?

***

Dalvir Gillova pesma je hoku. Fokusira se na radnju (koto, objektivna je). Pesma se ne orijentiše na objekat niti na njegov opis. „matalne oči“: Šta su metalne oči? Jesu li one metafora za vojno oružje? Jesu li one oči u kojima se ogleda sunce? Jesi li one oči insekta? Prvi stih Gillove pesme stvara uslove za efektivnu juktapoziciju, koja odiše tajnom (jugen), postiče maštu čitaoca i kulturno uslovljeni način razmišljanja.

zora oslikava krila
bele čaplje

Postavljanje prvog stiha uz druga dva uzdiže pesmu na plimsku scenu, platno na kome ništa nije kako se čini da je, ništa nije statično, platno koje se nikad ne suši. Pesnik svara pesmu. Zadatak čitaoca je da je subjektivno protumači.

Ja ću ovaj hoku protučamiti drugačije od vas. Kao vi, tako se razlikuju i kulturna sećanja, iskustva, novoi obrazovanja i geografske oblasti u kojima čitaoci i pisci žive.

Ako protumačim Gillov hoku baš onako kako ga on tumači, onda pesma nije uspela. Njegovo korišćenje japanske estitike iz vremena pre Meiđi ere (jugen, ma, makoto itd) dozvoljava mnoga tumačenja. Zbog toga se Bašoovi hokui danas pamte i duboko poštuju kao prava književnost, za razliku od haikua koji ulaze na jedno a izlaze na drugo uvo. Koliko haikua pamtite?

Postanite čaplja bez predrasuda zasnovanih na učenju nemačkog univerzitetskog sistema. Posmatrajte zoru njegovim očima. Posmatrajte kako zôka (kreativna sila prirode) oslikava krila bele čaplje. Metafora? Stvarni događaj? Metafora i realno?

U kakvoj su vezi metalne oči i zora koja oslikava krila bele čaplje?

 

 

BEST OF ISSUE (Second Choice)
Najbolji haiku broja (drugoplasirani)

 

 

Sandip Chauhan, USA (SAD)

twilight . . .
in the earth’s bosom
fallen petals

suton…
u nedrima zemlje
pale latice

tr. SV

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sandip Chauhan’s poem is a hokku as well. It is activity-biased. The poem begins with a mystery to solve: Twilight: dawn or dusk?

in the earth’s bosom
fallen petals

Petals falling from a flower indicate the fragility and non-permanence of everything in nature.”The earth’s bosom” suggests petals in a state of decomposition. How does twilight affect the falling of petals? What does this hokku tell you, the reader, about your own life?

What was once indicative of pure beauty and the emergence of new life, has been reduced to something that is in a state of becomingness: petals fall, decompose, return to the earth that bore them, fertilizing the earth, preparing it to give birth to new life. Nothing stops, all is non-static.

Makoto, yugen, and ma stir a reader’s minds. What looks deceptively simple, is, in reality, complex with layers of meaning.

***

I pesma Sandip Chauhan je hoku. Fokusira se na radnju. Pesma započinje misterijom koju treba rešiti: Sumrak: svitanje ili suton?

u nedrima zemlje
pale latice

Latice koje otpadaju sa cveta ukazuju na krhkost i nestalnost svega u prirodi. „Nedra zemlje“ ukazuju na latice u stanju raspadanja. Kako suton utiče na opadanje latica? Šta ti ovaj hoku govori, čitaoce, o tvom vlastitom životu?

Ono što je nekad ukazivalo na čistu lepotu i nastajanje novog života svedeno je na nešto što je u stanju nastajanja: latice otpadaju, raspadaju se, vraćaju zemlji koja ih je stvorila, obogaćuju je, pripremaju da stvori novi život. Ništa se ne zaustavlja, ništa nije statično.

Makoto, jugen i ma navode čitaoca na razmišljanje. Ono što se čini da je jednostavno je, zapravo, usložnjeno slojevima značenja.

 

 

BEST OF ISSUE (Third Choice)
Najbolji haiku broja (trećeplasirani)

 

 

Amin Adibi, Iran

from far away
as if another moon…
ship’s window

 

 

iz delaka
kao još jedan mesec…
prozor broda

tr. SV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amin Adibi’s poem is an activity-biased hokku.
“from far away”: where is the poet positioned?
What is he watching? Why does the “ship’s window” remind the poet of a moon, let alone, ANOTHER, moon? I sense loneliness and longing. Is it an abandoned ship, or a moored ship anchored across a harbor? The “ship’s window”.

***

Pesma Amin Adibija je hoku koji se fokusira na radnju.
„ iz daleka“: gde se nalazi pesnik?
Šta posmatra? Zašto ga „brodski prozor“ podseća na mesec, a kamoli na JOŠ JEDAN mesec? U ovoj pesmi slutim usamljenost i čežnju. Da li je brod napušten ili usidren u luci? „Brodski prozor“.

 

FAVORITES
Kandidati za najbolje haikue

Damir Damir, Srbija (Serbia)

na obodima
iščezlog sna … već dugo
glas kukavice

at the edges
of a faded dream… for too long
the cuckoo’s cry

Keith A. Simmons, France (Francuska)

autumn dusk…
a cat’s eyes absorb
the darkness

jesenji suton…
mačkine oči upijaju
tminu

tr. SV


Angelee Deodhar, India (Indija)

shooting star
how will you carry my wish
as you die?

zvezda padalica
kako ćeš preneti moju želju
dok gasneš?

tr. SV

Sandip Chauhan, USA (SAD)

mango blossoms . . .
all day the bulbul’s song
rises and fades

cvetovi manga…
čitavog dana poj slavuja
se glasa i gubi

swimming in
the scent of marigold . . .
an ounce of soul

pliva u
mirisu nevena…
nešto duše

tr. SV

Massih Talebian, Iran

galloping a horse
toward the Damavand,
moon on its back

konj u galopu
prema Damavandu
na leđima mu mesec

hometown…
blossoms in the
moon’s solitude

rodni grad…
cvetovi u
samoći meseca

tr. SV


Hengameh Ahmadi, Iran

crow nest-
hidden again among
young leaves

gnezdo vrane –
opet skriveno
u zelenom lišću

tr. SV

Beate Conrad, USA (SAD)

Vernal lightning
the willow by the river
as if still standing

prolećna munja
vrba kraj reke
kao da još uvek stoji

rising stars
echoes lingering
from the past

zvezde u usponu
zadržavaju se odjeci
iz prošlosti

 

tr. SV

 

 

 

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